Keep saying this to yourself. Oh, and don't watch the news or anything because that might disrupt your state of denial.
Sure, the Center for Disease Control is busy telling everyone that the Zombie Apocalypse tests they kept conducting over the past several years were just a fun way to teach disaster preparedness. But isn't that what the government always wants you to believe? Odd thing, they have just removed the material from their web site. Like what do they really know?
The recent zombie attack in Miami wasn't really a zombie in the honest to goodness zombie sense. It was simply zombie-like. Really had to do with bath salts. You see, it's all perfectly rational. It just happens that all of the video footage looks like a scene from Night of the Living Dead.
After all, there is no scientific way of creating zombies. So don't look at the Cracked.com blog piece on The 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. Sure, the piece is funny and accurate and everything, but do you really want to know this stuff? Wouldn't you rather get a good night sleep?
Good thing that Richard Lawson over at the Atlantic Wire has set us straight with his cry for an end to all of this zombie nonsense. He's right, you know. Sort of. Maybe. Oh hell, he ought to be right but the growing rash of bizarre incidents are getting kind of weird.
You got the porn actor who killed, raped, and ate his victim. There's the guy in New Jersey who disemboweled himself and then threw his intestines at the police. Then there is the college student who killed and ate his room mate. Fortunately it isn't just here in the States as reports just came in about a Swedish man who cut off his wife's lips and ate them. And these are just a few of the grisly highlights from the past week of deranged news items.
Add in the ever growing reports of people who keep dropping their clothes and taking a naked stroll along with the numerous cases of berserk behavior on airplanes, you start getting a creepy feel. That kind of sensation when you're walking along on a warm summer day and a cold wind hits you in the face. I mean I know better and all of that, but it is getting really difficult not to notice that this is becoming a tad worrisome.
Because of the current global economic situation, the stress level is running mighty high. Lots of people must feel like they are at their wits end. Many folks are on edge. Occasionally, I have pondered the possibility of a near global mental breakdown that sounds like something out of the old George Romero movie The Crazies. Previously, I had dismissed this idea as too extreme.
These days, I'm not so sure. Heck, I'm ready to get out a DVD of Zombieland so I can bone back up on the rules.